Sunday, October 3, 2010

For Better or for Worse….and to be the Bug Exterminator

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not a fan of bugs – cockroaches, hornets and wasps really bug me (no pun intended). If I see one of those the shoe comes out or the paper gets rolled up and the swatting commences.

Those other bugs though, the little small guys that sometimes slip in from under the door or randomly appear from an air duct are harmless as far as I’m concerned. I mean, chances are they’re just going to head back to where they came from soon enough. Sure, I’ve squashed one or two here and there, but they’re not up there on my list of concerns.

However, bugs for Mrs. I are a different story. We’ll be on the couch watching TV, and I might even see the same bug out of the corner of my eye and ignore it, but once Mrs. I catches a glimpse of it, I know it’s squashing time.

Mrs. I: "Ahem"

Me (thinking): If I play the "Ahem" off as her clearing her throat and ignore it, then maybe I can just stay here on the couch

Mrs. I, more obviously: "Ahhh-emm"
Me (I look over at Mrs. I, and see her eyes look at me, then back at the bug on the wall, then back at me. No need for her to say anything verbally.)

What I hate most about the tiny bugs is their speed. Sometimes I wonder if Mrs. I points out to bugs because she really wants them killed, or if she just wants to watch me chase the little thing across the wall, floor, etc. – sometimes I think it’s a little of both.

The other day though, I realized that Mrs. I can actually kill these little guys on her own. I woke up one morning, and it was clearly evident that our office chair had been rolled from the office into our bedroom and back again. After trying to think of why on earth that happened, or when it happened for that matter, I asked Mrs. I. She put it quite plainly and matter-of-factly, “There was a bug on the wall last night and it was too high for me to reach and of course I wasn’t able to wake you up.”

I actually wish I had witnessed this, because chasing a bug around on a rolling office chair, in a dark TV-lit room, probably wasn’t easy but without a doubt it would have been funny. Some little bug sure wouldn’t have gotten me out of bed to chase it around.

So to all the husbands-to-be out there, don’t forget that when you say “I Do”, you’re also signing yourself up to be the household bug exterminator – a task that’s really not all that bad, so long as you’re not a bug-lover!